Magic moment: Big Chris is so feklempt he is sobbing. The challenge is to design a two-piece outfit for a pop culture and fashion icon. The contestants wonder aloud…who is it? Madonna? Britney?
Nope. Sarah Jessica Parker. Truth told, we’d be shaking in our Manolos and so were the designers.
There was, of course, a hitch. It had to be dirt cheap – total material costs of $15 to sell in SJP’s Bitten line for mass marketer Steve & Barry’s at the bargain price of $40.
Chris tearily warbles. “She’s the reason I moved to New York…” It's a touch stalker.
In a mere 30-minutes contestants have to sketch the ensemble and go one-on-one to pitch the look to the gal who is arguably the queen of New York fashion. She in turn picks seven of her faves, who in turn pick seven partners to produce the look. The winning team: Victoria and Kevin with their fluid smock dress topped by a saucy racer back vest. Really cute. Though for our money, it was Elisa and tattooed Sweet P who did the job best – a swingy light brown cape atop a turquoise mini-dress. They were in the running but Elisa grosses Heidi out big time by admitting she uses her own spit to mark her dresses. “You should not tell people that,” says Heidi, nearly fainting. Earlier in the show the earthy contestant explains to shocked Sweet P that the spit “imbibes,” the fabric, “with energy.” Sweet P makes the sign of the cross on herself as if to say, “Holy Mother of Mod.”
The judges were dead on when it came to the worst look, though SJP almost weeps when he gets the boot. Marion, who partnered with Steven (please note the dimples on that guy), produces a hideous sweater of mole brown with Pocahontas fringes over an ill-fitting skirt. It starts the journey semi-okay but the fuzzy knit fabric appears to stretch and grow. Michael Kors describes the look as, “Cousin It,” and Heidi despises it. ”It makes us sad. It looks like it came from the basement,”she says. Christian who partners with Carmen comes closed to getting “aufed.” He earns a well-deserved comeuppance, in part for his arrogance. When Tim Gunn suggests a little adaptation on his sleazy, way-too-tight dress and spacey little jacket, the whippersnapper retorts, “I think it’s perfect.”
A note: We say the keeper of the night was Ricky’s charming, frothy red dress with a wide black belt. Ricky, don’t lose that number.
– Anne Bratskeir