5/7 It’s Saturn Time: Car Clothes

Hey, it’s not prudent to be a major sponsor of a hit TV show and get only a tiny bit of airtime, no way. Hence, tonight was Saturn night (as in the automobile), so instead of the winner of the whole Project Runway shebang getting the car as part of package…well, tonight the designers actually had to make a garment out of Saturn car parts…for real. The notion was that Saturn uses recyclable materials, and the designers’ challenge was to recycle car parts into a garment creating an innovative look with a twist.

Terri was worried that she didn’t have a blow torch to disassemble one of the half dozen or so cars parked on top of a 24-hour parking garage at 142 W. 31 Street. So it was very kind of the people at Saturn to fill the vehicles with car parts such as headlights, seatbelts, seat covers and floor mats. The designers made off with as much as their little rolling shopping carts could carry.

Let’s face it, there was an obvious bias to the edit tonight and Keith was a goner.
He was incredibly mean, pompous, kvetchy and blaming everyone but himself for failure. His bland outfit was less the culprit than his attitude. Michael Kors gave him a little something to remember about criticism: “You got to let it roll off your back.” but the guy is out. And yet, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him – he wept and worried about going back to Utah. Truth told, we were glad it was him and not Stella who was also on the chopping block with him for creating something too safe and not cohesive. She said it had a “Planet of the Apes” quality. You have to like her…she’s so darn real and her boyfriend's name is Rat Bones. Blayne’s carwash dress of seatbelts dappled with broken mirrors prompted Heidi to reinvent the mirror superstition, “Seven years no sex.” We don’t think Blayne was a bit scaredlicious.

We wish they could have awarded two wins tonight because Korto’s coat of seatbelts was 100% killer. Guest judge Rachel Zoe wanted it for her own wardrobe … it was simply stunning. She didn’t win. Instead Leanne took top honors for her shapely, couture style dress of seat covers that looked to be embellished with peacock feathers, though they were really shredded seatbelt. Zoe said she was “blown away” by the look and that Leanne could go straight to Paris, as in France, with it.

So where was the Nina tonight? We don’t know, but Laura Bennett, the redhead from Season Three sat in and was a very good judge as was Zoe.

Early on, Terri calls Korto’s gorgeous coat a “scarecrow,” and literally rolls on the floor, laughing hysterically. Korto responds, and we think maybe jokingly, with, “I’m hating on you.”

And there wasn’t a whole lotta love tonight. Kenley misses BFF Daniel – weird, because she basically dissed him big time on the runway in an earlier episode. She has a mini-freak out session when she learns her model bailed and she was going to have to refit her air filter skirt. Also, speaking of models, it’s kind of weird that they have to stand there barefoot in stark black shmatas to be eliminated at the beginning of each show. - Anne Bratskeir

5/6 THE TRANNY DIARIES

Talk about a niche market. Tonight’s challenge? Create a new look for a drag queen. Hearty boy and owner of perhaps our favorite guffaw in the universe, Chris March (from Season Four), presented the mission -- you must remember the wonderful laugh and in the finale, his human hair adorned clothes – yes? In Viking garb complete with sci-fi sequin bosoms and horns, well, our fellow Chris was quite a sight.

The “models,” too, were something else with names like Hedda Lettuce, Farrah Moans, Sweetie, LeMay, Miss Understood and Annida Greenkard but far more bizarre than how they looked in drag, was seeing them sans costumes. Yeesh, they aren’t the prettiest gals, and without the glitz they’re regular, in some cases, nebbishy, guys.

Winner Joe got it right on the money when he decided to design a Halloween costume – like he would for his daughters -- though he went totally Pepto-Bismol pink on his model Varla Jean. His gal was going for an Ann-Margret meets Love Boat vibe and his cute sequined jumpsuit with belt that guest judge RuPaul said, um, “hid the candy,” was really charming and fit the persona. “It was a match made in heaven,” said RuPaul. Look, sometimes fashion must entertain, and this well-fitting bon bon did it.

As for Daniel, who was aufed for his dullard, normal, bad dress shop Flamenco style gown, well, we haven’t loved his attitude one bit during the show – hence the moniker Prima-Daniel – but we felt sorry for him in this particular challenge. He withers when criticized and had he been a little open to suggestion – well, it could have been Keith who got the axe for his tangled, sloppy Tina Turner wannabe rag that once again featured patches and strips. Michael Kors called it a “sad chicken.” Keith weeps uncontrollably when Daniel is booted, but we had to wonder if perhaps these were tears of joy, because he was saved for another day. Daniel is probably a sweet guy; hope he lightens up in real life.

We think Jerell’s sequin dress for LeMay with its fab pop-up lizard collar was clever, but the judges said it was a “yawn.” They kvelled over Terri’s Gene Simmons-meets-Diana Ross Kabuki job – for us, not so great. Korto really captured fire for Sweetie in her boom-laka-laka red confection – there was a real Divine quality there, and Stella’s Vivienne Westwood-dominatrix number was great.

The gang is getting sickalicious of Blayne’s overused suffix, and he was lucky to be spared tonight for his malfunctioning ensemble which Tim said looked like a “pterodactyl out of gay Jurassic park.”

It’s nice that these dresses will be auctioned off for charity by Broadway Cares and the proceeds will go to fight AIDS, but we’re wondering who’s buying.

Here’s the question of the night posed by Bravo. Who would you rather see in drag?
Michael Kors (he got 46% of the votes) or Tim Gunn (54%). We’re absolutely dying to know what you think. Let us know.

– Anne Bratskeir

5/5 DRESS BROOKE SHIELDS FOR “LIPSTICK JUNGLE”

Ooh. Project Runway producers pulled out some serious stops for the challenge tonight: design a look that goes from desk to dinner for a high powered and professional woman. And who would that classy lassie be? None other than Brooke Shields, who in her “Lipstick Jungle” TV role as Wendy Healy, top movie executive, wife and mom, will actually wear the garment in the second season of the nationally televised fashion focused show. Huge for the winner.

Brooke consults with the designers -- picks six of the twelve based on their proposal sketches, and, here comes trouble -- they have to work in teams. There were egos, haters and a few surprisingly sweet moments.

First up, the massive “Jungle” bungles. Loser Kelli who teams with Prima-Daniel produced a hoochie mama leopard ensemble accented with royal blue. Michael Kors called it, "slutty, slutty, slutty." Brooke, who is not a meanie, is almost wincing when she comments on how cheap it looked. To be frank, it put the “w” in “working girl.” Team leader Kelli tells the judges that her partner Daniel should be aufed…they beg to differ.

Then, there’s Blayne's disastrous capri pant, with halter and jacket, that is so crazy wrong for Brooke and the character that it’s hard to fathom.
But if loving him is wrong, we don’t want to be right. Even though he is off the mark and as the Nina puts it “shows a reluctance to listen that is very bratty,” the kid is a stand-up guy. When asked by the judges if he or Leanne should go, he says, “This is an integrity issue... it should be me.” Very fine, but please Blayne, listenlicious next time.

The winner? A drop dead gorgeous frock – floral on top with a fish scale like skirt -- designed by Keith who is assisted by strong-willed Kenley. There was a J.Mendel meets Prada vibe about it – cool, sophisticated and expensive looking. Brooke could wear it and so could a lot of other women. We are wishing Keith would exude a touch more humility. And though Kenley is one bossy broad, she’s talented and adds some levity to the night when she cracks up on the runway as Daniel proclaims he has “impeccable taste.” Seeing is believing bud.

We’re happy that Jerell and Stella almost snare the win with their swanky silk animal print ensemble wrapped by a buttery leather cummerbund-like belt. Poor Stella was picked last – what a lousy feeling -- and Jerell was fantastically gracious about getting last pick. Their design blew many others out of the water. Yay, team.

In the attitude department – Terri, on camera, graphically questions Suede’s sexuality and was incredibly negative towards him until Tim said he liked the work. Not nice, Missy. Korto thought Joe was backstabbing her but in fact, we think he was gently and appropriately trying to get her to modify her overly voluminous silhouette.


It was no love fest tonight. Cannot wait for next week’s challenge…design an outfit for a drag queen. No kidding. – Anne Bratskeir

Week 3 poll results

You guys hate the judges' rankings this season. Once again, you disagreed with their pick. Here are the results from the Week 3 "aufing" reader poll.



46 percent - Keith Bryce
40 percent - Jennifer Diederich
8 percent - Emily Brandle

Season 5/Episode 3 NEW YORK CITY IS THE MUSE

Who is in and who is out?

The judges, and if you beg to differ, please do, got it wrong on both counts.

Not the most original of challenges: create a look of your choice inspired by New York for a night out on the town. Er, anyone ever heard of Donna Karan, who each season pays homage to the concrete, glass, steel, graffiti and electricity of New York?

Comedian Sandra Bernhard, um, funny yes, fashionista, questionable, sat in as guest judge. So, okay the winner, Kenley for what Michael Kors described as an 80’s, Joan Collins, power bitch dress. The Nina thought it was “adorable.” But it was a weird little pouf – part fabric, part tulle. Fun – one night on the town only -- then back to the dress-up box. Bernhard pointed out, not many girls could wear it.

What they could wear was Leanne’s architectural little skirt inspired by the lines in a metal planter paired with an easy top. “I would wear that in a heartbeat,” Heidi said.

But Leanne isn’t a colorful character . . . Kenley whose style, she says, evokes modern day calendar girls, is. High marks went to Terri for her backless dress-over-pants ensemble inspired by walls of posters and graffiti. Bernhard called it “fierce, sexy and in control." It was spicy but also evoked a Baby Phat/Kimora Lee Simmons vibe.

Out is waify Emily for her dress inspired by lights. Granted the ruffled neon appliqué was fairly bad, though the simple black dress was okay. Far, far worse was Keith’s scrappy (and we mean scraps) shmata that Kors said, “literally looked like toilet paper caught in a windstorm.” C’mon guys, it was a no-brainer. But again, Keith is more fun than Emily.

Show highlights

• The kids in ponchos and rain boots following Tim like a line of duckies onto a double-decker bus to view the city. Even jaded New Yorkers Stella and Suede dig it. Suede’s third person problem continues.

• Blayne’s “Timlicious,” greeting. His quest for a tanning salon in Times Square. And finally, him teaching Tim a new phrase, “Holla at your boy.” Intrigued and amused, Tim bids adieu to the group in a new way. “Make it work. Carry on. Holla’ at your boy.”

Other notes


• Blayne’s dress is clowny
• Jerell’s sort of Rami-ish (remember Rami?)
• Joe’s stunning
• Stella’s total and complete Stella.

In the category of too much information: Stella in the morning, Jerell in a sleep mask.

– Anne Bratskeir

Photos from BravoTV.com/runway

Episode 5/1: Gristede's and tablecloths

It’s baaack.

The first episode of Project Runway had it all – the pretty, the weird, the nerdy, the Goth, the over-inflated ego… you name it. To be honest, we found ourselves missing our curly-haired girl, Jillian Lewis, from Selden, and the entire cast of Season 4, but we know, we know, we’ve got to move on.

The challenge: create a look from items purchased at a grocery store with a budget of $75. The problem: many of the contestants bought tablecloths . . . not risky enough for Tim or the judges, who included Season One contestant Austin Scarlett who came off frothier than a double latte, but in the end was quite a good judge.

In terms of geography, Stella, billed as the rocker chick, from Astoria, is our girl. But she came close to being the first designer to go. She feared if she were, she would be known, and we quote, as “the biggest jackass of the nation.” Stella chose cheap trash bags to do her version of something leather. It didn’t work. For a while we thought she was just going to quit, but she pulled through with a pretty unimpressive trash bag dress that evoked, well, a trash bag. Heidi said it was “butt ugly.”

Jerry of Montana took the bullet and unfortunately took the phrase, “dressed to kill,” literally in an outfit of shower curtain and rubber gloves that prompted Michael Kors to say it looked like something out of “a slasher movie.” Bye, bye fella.

Who do we love… already? Kelli, whose tattooed arms conjure last season’s Sweet P, and whose clever vacuum cleaner, coffee filter, pushpins dress was the winner. Nerdy Leanne, who is way out of her element but created cuteness with candy -- Daniel who molded royal blue plastic cups into a bombshell dress -- Joe whose pot holder-pasta dress was adorable -- Terri for her mop top cropped sweater -- Jerell for his paper umbrella embellishment -- Korto for using lettuce and tomatoes as a necklace, and Emily for her spunk and bouncy ball collar.

Christian Siriano wannabe? Yeesh, the overly tanned Blayne, who is trying to trademark his “girlishess” exclamation a la Siriano’s “fierce.” Forget it. His weird bustier type thing of jump rope, drawer linens and windshield wipers prompted Kors to comment that his model looked like she had “an old diaper pushed in between her legs.”

And although we’re withholding judgment because his work is good, Keith gets suck up award of the night for telling Heidi that he always designs with her in mind. Heidi, credit to her, doesn’t really buy that jive, and on another note, is wearing micro minis and looks better than ever.

– Anne Bratskeir