Season 5/Episode 2 IT AIN'T EASY BEING GREEN

The challenge: use environmentally responsible textiles to create cocktail dresses for clients who are…the models. The bummer: The models, armed with $75, shop for fabric and trim and have absolutely no idea what the heck they’re doing.

A bunch bought this vile, glossy brown organic satin, which was the undoing of one contestant. Poor, sweet Wesley got the boot for his overwrought, ill fitting number that Michael Kors said looked like 27 hands had been all over it. Leanne’s loopy, too-many-tricks mini was second to worst. So sad… speaking of which…the water works were on tonight with Korto’s near breakdown when her darty dress was criticized, to Leanne’s girlish sobs, when her model didn’t back her up, saying that the dress she created was not really what she wanted.

Onward to happier fashions and moments: Kenley’s lean, ladylike cocktail number in champagne was elegant, but Suede’s girlish tulle skirted frock of ivory satin and red strips won. Guest judge Natalie Portman, who is an environmental activist and a designer for vegan shoe line Te Casan (pricey but very stylish) as well as a fashionista (and did we mention, a Long Island girl), loved, loved Suede’s confection. Beneath the blue Mohawk and the overuse of the third person, “Suede is a bisexual Sagittarius…. Suede rocks…” well, we sorta’ like him, and thought the dress was really cute.

Stella redeemed herself tonight imbuing her rocker chic attitude into an asymmetrical shoulder silky mini. Her model loved it. But, um, Long Islanders, was it us? Or were the contestants making fun of our famous accents? We forgive, because Stella of Astoria speaking the Queen’s English is sort of hard on the ear as in “letha” this, “letha” that (yes, that would be leather). But Blayne really went to town…you don’t hear us speaking Leprechaun, do you Blayne? Stella was a good sport about the ribbing.

Truth told, we’re kind of liking Blayne too – what a character – but we must question his judgment. Is it wise to call Heidi Darth Vader? As he put it “all shiny on the outside, but Darthlicious inside.” Hats off to him, Terri, Daniel, Joe and Emily for the good work, while we’re thinking Jennifer did shmata and Jerrell did hoochie mama.

– Anne Bratskeir

(Photos from BravoTV.com/runway)