5/Episode 4 The Olympic Games People Play

So it’s another field trip and quite a timely challenge: Create an outfit for the U.S. athletes to wear to the opening ceremony of the Olympic games. The kids are hustled off to the Armory Track & Field Center where a lone skater powers down the track, and hello, here comes Apolo Ohno, five time Olympic medal winner (no one mentioned Dancing with the Stars) who laid out the challenge and later judged, and man, he is one cool cat.

The designers get 30 minutes to examine archival Olympic looks at the Armory, and $150 to spend on fabric.

Was there brilliance buried within this episode? Would we score it a 10? Hmm, not so much. But Korto kept it lean and clean with her white ensemble featuring red and blue accents. She used lightweight leather as a vest, and her pants silhouette was fitted yet fluid. All in all, very handsome. And she won it, graciously declaring, “It’s about freaking time.”

The loser is sort of a sad sack case…poor, poor Jennifer. Her outfit, a gold pleated skirt with short embellished dark sweater didn’t emit a whiff of the Olympic games, but it wasn’t hideous – in fact, rather cute, but oh-so-off the mark. Daniel, whose prima-Daniel personality is really ruffling some feathers in the fashion coop, created a 40’s style fancy frock that was supposed to be blue but read purple. “Where is she from?” queried Michael Kors. “The Republic of Cocktail Land?” Later he added, “If her sport is drinking, this is a good dress.” God we love him.

Jerell was in the bottom this week for a mad look that involved multiple ascot ties, a floppy dotted hat and pinstriped skirt.

In our notes, we wrote, "ungapatchked" referring to the ungainly, overwrought, ridiculously weird look. Kors went Yiddish too, but he called it “meshugene,” as in really crazy. Even the Nina let him have it describing the outfit as “Mary had a little lamb.” Imagine, then, our athletic team marching en mass into the arena in this costume with every other country in the world looking on…baaaaa U.S.A. Back to the judges for a moment, Apolo was fabulous, thoughtful and knowledgeable – probably one of the best guest judges we’ve ever seen on the show.

So, the individuality medal goes to, once again, Stella, who is no phony. She buys black stretch fabric as the basis for her look and everyone thinks she’s nuts. She wants it to be, “bold, progressive, dynamic, like gladiators.” And if the judges didn’t like it, she planned to tell them, “A lot of bikers in this country watch the Olympics.” Jerell did Mary, Stella wanted “bad ass.”

Blayne does not know who the Beatles are much to Tim's chagrin. On the sorta’ funny side, his tanning issues, and the fact that he considered himself an Olympic athlete at tanning…though it only goes to the - ha, ha - bronze medal.

The annoying meter was going haywire on Kenley’s cackle, people were going insane. Also, did she or did she not throw her little boy Daniel to the wolves by instructing him not to add the cape to his look? Hmmm, we must ponder.

Finally, off the subject, you’ve all probably heard that mighty Heidi’s legs have been insured for some $2.2 million. Didn’t they look great tonight?

-- Anne Bratskeir

(Photo from BravoTV.com/runway)