Episode Three: The Tiki Barber Affair

Sometimes reality shows push the limits too far and "Project Runway" did just that in episode three.

The challenge? In a day-and-a-half, design an on-air outfit for "Today Show" correspondent, Tiki Barber, the former Giants running back -- something conservative but cool that would fit his neck, skinny waist, and self-proclaimed "big butt."

Few of the designers had any menswear experience, and it showed. In the end, the looks fell into three distinct categories: Okay, not bad and absolutely horrible.

Kind-hearted Jack who shares his boxer shorts with other contestants to help them make their patterns -- he is almost nude in the workroom save for a towel -- wins it with a checked shirt and pinstriped pants. Tiki likes it and says he’ll be wearing it on the Today Show soon . . . we have our doubts but cannot wait.

We think Kit should have taken top honors with her navy fleece blazer, cool shirt and khakis, definitely decent. Kevin also gets honorable mention for his vest, pants, lavender shirt and pocket square. Heidi does not dig the look. “I would not like to see my husband in that,” she says. Kevin, no shrinking violet, retorts, “C’mon, Seal would look great in this.” So not happening.

Carmen deservedly goes home for her dreadful ensemble. Michael Kors says her pants look like something out of the film “Boogie Nights,” and adds that the “crotch is out of control.” She makes a horrid little jacket that sits at the waist, and Tiki frets that it would make his “butt look big.” Because she runs out of time, she throws a bolt of fabric around the model’s neck instead of a shirt. It’s shmata time and it ain’t pretty.

But, in fact, the challenge was just plain too hard and it wasn’t that fun to watch. Ricky’s angst is over-the-top and he wins the award for the contestant most likely to need a Valium. He completely bugs out and nearly gets “aufed.” Jack admits he’s HIV-positive. Sweet P designs a tie for a 7-footer (Tiki is 5’9”) and a shirt with a bizarro collar. Tiki’s wife, Ginny, floats into the workroom while the kids are sweating bullets and critiques. She is a little too mean and we don’t want to know that Tiki’s wife is the boss of his clothes.

For the record, hardly any of the contestants even knew who Tiki Barber was. Ricky admits it, but says, “He’s gorgeous.”

Steven sums up his knowledge of football with a fashionable flair: “It’s the one time on TV that spandex is acceptable.”

-- Anne Bratskeir